Everybody living on this planet will have their own families one day – in other words, they will get married. Nevertheless, most of the people in our society don’t have knowledge about what the true meaning of marriage is, and many of them end up having poor families or unhappy ones. So what should we do before and after getting married?
Before deciding to have a wedding, all men and women should prepare themselves very well. If you want to choose a person to be your future spouse, you have to choose him or her wisely, for if you choose incorrectly, you’ll be wrong for your lifetime. It means that you have to choose someone whom you really love and want to spend the rest of your life with him or her. This is not a normal matter, so don’t you choose like a child playing a game. For one thing, both of the lovers have to get their own jobs. They can’t depend on each other, especially women. Eighty percent of women in Cambodia mostly depend on their husband; they don’t try to find any jobs to do. They just stay at home looking after their children and do the housework. Then, imagine, what will happen when the husband die? The wife will become a widow, and in addition to having got no jobs, she and her children will apparently get into poverty – for example, becoming beggars, and sometimes don’t even have a proper home to live in. And about men having no jobs before getting marriage, it can also be a major problem. Lots of men in our country realize that there is no need having a job before getting married, and that they can find it later. That is a really wrong opinion. What if they can’t find jobs when they have a family? And if they have no jobs, how can they be possible to support their entire family? Some of them think that they can live on by some properties which are shared from their parents until they are able to find a professional occupation. Even worst, some of them don’t work at all; they just take their family to live with their parents and spend their parents’ money. This is not right. How can you be a real man if you live a life depending on others when you already have your own family? Otherwise, consider the difficulties coming from having no jobs when getting married. No jobs, no money. No money, nothing to support the family. Then, the whole family economy will decrease to zero point. What will happen? There will be endless arguments in the family between husband and wife, wife and the kids and so on. For instance, the wife blames her husband for being unable to support the family; the husband may get divorced with his wife. What about the kids? They will probably drop off from schools and find jobs to do. What are they supposed to do if they are just children? What jobs can they do? They can become beggars, bootblacks….anything. Now that it comes to this point, where can you find happiness in this broken-down family? Therefore, all I’ve got to say is that, ‘Jobs first, marriage later.’ Furthermore, if you have made up your mind about someone to be your one-hundred-year friend, there must be an agreement between both sides of the parents. If any sides disagree, you will probably not be able to build up a happy family. When it comes to engagement, you’ll have to spend the money yourself. You must not get the money from your parents, just like I say from above: ‘Depend on yourself.’ Also, my father used to tell me, ‘If you want to engage somebody, don’t come to ask me for money.’ Most importantly, your marriage must be approved legally by the law of the country in order that it will provide both couples great conveniences later if there are any problems. Like I said, the things you’ve got to do before getting married is absolutely essential. When you get married already, you can change no more. There are a lot of complex things to consider before getting married, but there are even more of those matters that you will face and have to deal with later – after getting married. First of all, both husband and wife have to make up their mind about the future of their family. They will have to determine how many kids they want, how much big their family is going to be, what kind of house is reasonable for them, etc. Besides, good living standard also takes part in creating a happy family. Secondly, the married couples should share responsibilities with each other in order to lead a happy family. Naturally, there will be some trouble occurring in the family, either small or big. If the problems are not too big, the couples should try to have forgiving views of each other and to solve the problem peacefully rather than just getting divorced. They should consider about the difficulty that will possibly occur to their children when they get divorced.
On the conclusion, you have to be prepared for everything that is to come before and after getting married. Happiness in the family is not easy to find. But believe me, nothing is impossible. All happiness always starts from YOU.
Marriage in haste and repent at leisure.